Enjoy your first cruise using the tips I learned

In Easter 2023 we took sail for the first time. I’ve always been cynical about if I would enjoy a cruise but my friend convinced me to book Norwegian Fjords on P&O Cruises ship, the Iona. It can be daunting. As a first-timer I found the cruise ship like another world – they have their own lingo, ways of paying and there are even different laws when you’re at sea.

I’ve processed the holiday and googled a lot of what I saw and heard. So here is what you need to know if you’re thinking about booking or have just booked your first cruise. If you’re embarking from Portsmouth, then there is a lot to do and it’s worth tagging on a day to see the town.

A cruise is a REALLY easy holiday

As someone who likes to see a lot of things, a cruise was a really easy and fairly cheap way of seeing a lot. The fact you were taken to the next place, you don’t have to make many decisions about food or seek out entertainment.

The most taxing thing we did all week was working out how to get our complimentary glass of fizz on celebration night (it came with dinner in exchange for a voucher – simples).

This was really really appreciated and meant we could truly relax!

A cruise ship is its own world

Your cruise card is your key

On the Iona, everything was synced to one card, your Cruise Card – this was how you paid for everything (even duty-free – it linked to the credit card you provide in advance), it acted as your room key, checked you on and off the ship when at port, helped you access WiFi, on-ship bookings etc.

A cruise means you need to pack a range of clothes

I read so much about formal nights, weather at different ports and wind on deck before I went that I definitely overpacked. However, you do need a good range of clothes for a cruise. One formal outfit is advisable as some restaurants do need it and you don’t want to miss out on a good night because you only bought tatty jeans.

I also packed two sets of gym gear, yoga pants for relaxing, jeans for shore days and my swimming costume. Because we had booked a hike for one of our ports, I also ended up bringing four pairs of shoes: hiking boots, flat pumps, trainers for gym and walking shoes. Ok five as I also bought my pool-side flip flops. In hindsight this wasn’t needed but I didn’t know what to expect.

Even the basic cabins on a cruise are fully equipped

Remember, your cabin is your hotel room. Even the most basic cabins on a cruise come with all the things you would expect: clean towels every day, small fridge, a good TV, a hair dryer, instant coffee and tea bags, shampoo and body wash. The cabins are cleaned and beds are made every day, which is a bonus as many hotels now don’t do this.

There is also a fridge, but it’s not big enough to keep your litre of booze you’re allowed to bring onboard in. And it’s also not that cold. Or mine wasn’t.

On P&O you can even have a standard breakfast delivered as room service for no additional cost – but there are lovely upgrades you can also pay extra for.

I haven’t worked out how they determine which plugs to have but P&O which sail from the UK have British plugs on them.

Be prepared, book excursions and activities in advance

One thing you may not realise on your first cruise is that your fellow passengers are organised. In addition to knowing all the lingo, will have planned their trip meticulously – from how they book parking (see below) to the spa, to planning dinners and shore experiences. Essentially from when you book, you’re in competition for every game of table tennis, shuffleboard, dinner table, excursion or parking space. You need to get in early or miss out.

Booking in advance also extends to baby supplies. If you need a travel cot, you need to contact the cruise provider in advance. P&O even have a long lead time for Baby food: they need at least 7 weeks’ notice from when you are sailing.

Specialty dining should also be booked in advance. On P&O it opens two weeks before sailing. Again people will be organised and there at one minute past midnight so be prepared! We tried to book about 10 days out and none of the meals with entertainment had space left. There was a pub with spaces but that was it. Fear not, the buffet is still excellent but it doesn’t have a celeb singing!

Research shore experiences

The shore experiences provided by the cruise company are really good and represent good value. They pick you up from the ship, you don’t have to worry about where to go, and they offer a really fantastic range of options depending how mobile and adventurous you are or how much you have to spend.

However, we also found that some of the experiences were identical to those which you could buy at the port. In one case, we missed the boat (boom) on a hike that was organised by the company we travelled with but got the same trip for £20 less at the port. DEAL!

The other reason it is worth researching and booking excursions is that not all ports are equal in terms of what there is to do. Cruise stops are determined partly by which ports on a route can support a large ship coming into dock. Not planning and booking can give you a dull day. For example Olden is a beautiful cruise stop, but you really do need an excursion else you will have done most of what there is in the first 30 minutes you are docked. If you are lucky enough to be docking somewhere like Rotterdam which is full of things to do.

Book your parking as soon as you book the cruise

This may seem silly, but cruise companies give out more parking slots than there actually are. I learned this the hard way.

Confused? This is what I learned.

If you add parking to your booking (with P&O at any rate), you are booking the right to register for parking, but you don’t actually book your parking. This is despite it being included in the cruise price.

You book it through a separate phone call to the parking provider. CPS is one of the major providers of Cruise parking and are pretty strict on booking policy. You also don’t get back the £20 or whatever it is that is included in your booking fee, as it’s in the small print.

The T&Cs on your parking at the port are included in your booking confirmation but what they don’t tell you is 10 days is not when you should register to park your car for your trip. It is the ABSOLUTE LATEST you can register your car. Many car parks book up a month in advance, especially during a busy period.

You can’t actually swim in the pools on a cruise ship

Well on the ship we went on anyway. There were four pools on board, which as a keen swimmer I was really excited about. HOWEVER, not one was more than about 10 metres in length which makes it impossible to actually swim.

Watch out for the extras on a cruise ship

Much like if you are staying in an all-inclusive hotel (the closest thing I can equate the cruise to) there is a lot included in your package, but there is also the ability to buy a lot of add-ons or upgrade meals, snacks etc. For example:

• Cruise WiFi is cheaper when bought in advance, but you pay per-person, per-day for it, and on the liner we went with, you had to buy the whole cruise if bought in advance. However, if you waited until you were onboard, you could buy single days. Depending on how much you cannot live without an internet connection, could be cheaper. I mainly just used roaming in the port, which my contract didn’t charge extra for, so was much cheaper.
• Drinks can be bought as a package or on-the-go and if you are not a heavy drinker, on-the-go will likely be cheaper. The drinks packages on P&O have recently changed, so it’s really important to research if it’s worth it for you. The most important thing to note is you have to buy the drinks package for the duration of your cruise, you cannot just choose a day or two.
• Meals in the buffet and casual dining restaurants are included in your package but lots of restaurants are not. You pay extra for coffee (on P&O it’s Costa), gelato and any soft drinks not in the buffet and alcohol.
• Spa use – the swimming pools are included but things such as the relaxation areas or saunas come at an additional cost. How these are sold varies by provider.

Using your mobile phone on a cruise ship

Once you leave a country and are in the middle of the ocean you will uncover a whole new type of phone tariff. You will be on a Maritime tariff. This is REALLY expensive. On EE I was quoted £6.52 for 4MB of data that would last 24 hours, £3.11 a minute to make a call / £3.11 to receive a call, and 76p to send a text. In short, it isn’t worth it, and it makes the on-ship WiFi look cheap. Or read a book!

Cruise insurance is not negotiable

If you’re like I was a few years ago and would cut a corner by travelling uninsured (this stopped when I went to the US and realised what healthcare would cost me) then prioritise this one. It’s easy to find – for example on CompareTheMarket. Most companies will not let you board without cruise insurance that has a minimum of £2 million in cover. I think this is if you need air ambulance however it also covers things like changes in schedule…

Your schedule could change

The nature of being on a cruise ship means that some of the stops can be cancelled or changed – if the waters are too stormy or treacherous. This happened to us and it meant we had 3 days at sea and 3 port days, not 2 at sea and 4 port days. This was disappointing, but the ship staff are clearly used to it as letters came to our cabin explaining the new schedule and how to make an insurance claim (not sure what for still but…) and there was a great assortment of on-board entertainment put on: we tried shuffleboard!

Timings are absolute

From the word go, timing is of the essence. Because of the number of people they need to get on and off the boat, you will be given a short timeslot to check-in and board the boat. You need to arrive at this time, not before, not after. The same goes for disembarking.

Remember what I said about booking parking by a date not on the date? Well the same goes for timing when you are on your trip. When the cruise says back on board by 4.30, it means we will start looking for passengers who haven’t been registered as back onboard at 4.20 so we can leave at 4.30. An excursion that starts at 9.30 means the coach will leave at 9.30 and most people will be there by 9.10.

How a Cruise ship moves

Were surprised by how much and how little we could feel the boat move. Anna gets travel sick more than I do and didn’t feel sick, which is good.

Get ahead of the laundry!

It’s true that laundry isn’t front of mind for most when on holiday, but on the P&O cruise ships the laundry rooms are free of charge, you just need to bring some detergent. It might feel like finishing your holiday before you get home to use your last sea day to do laundry, but it will save you money and aggravation when back home. Plus by this point you might be a bit bored of the ship.

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